The 42nd Kingdom

The 42nd Kingdom

Sometimes it feels good to cry. You know, those times when you have no real or good reason, but you have to relieve all of the pressures that have built up over time. So cathartic. And because I am female, I can say this with no social repercussions. Hooray for stereotypical gender roles! For once, they're on my side.

Amy, I put a great deal of stock in the scent-memory phenomenon. I believe taste would also be a likely channel for such nostalgia, as it is heavily connected to the olfactory sense. I love taking liquid amoxicillin because it always makes me feel about 4--back when life was so much simpler.

( 12:58 PM ) Meghan

Today I was told that I made someone's day. In that statement, they made mine too.

Good luck on your "A-Bomb" presentation, Jason!! I won't make the obvious joke about you being D"a-bomb." You have no idea the self-restraint that took ;)

And excellent midterm wishes to Justinne! A good luck haiku for you:

Your knowledge of Japan
Will prove to Dr. Yoon that
You deserve an "A!"

( 1:25 AM ) Meghan

On my commute home from work today, I looked up and for the first time saw the mountain skyline in front of the I-81 Junction. I have always known that it has been there, but in seven weeks I have never once stopped to notice it. It was beautiful...the massive, immovable rocks against a gently misting sky. And through that scenic outlook, I finally understood my day. Today was my first full day as an intake worker. Most of the day I spent fretting and flustered, upset that I had forgotten a question or did not know enough to inform callers adequately. I was caught up in the details and could not see the big picture. And suddenly, there was the big picture right in front of me, through the crevices in those mountains. I got through the day. I did my job. I did my best. I helped some kids. I am going back tomorrow.

( 6:09 PM ) Meghan

My interview is complete. I was eloquent, genuine, enthusiastic, and I wrote a pretty good case assessment to boot. A huge thank you to all of you who wished me luck, prayers, and thoughts yesterday. I felt them all.

Ian needs some good vibes too, if you all have any positive energy to spare. He has auditioned for VCU's performance arts program and admission would mean the world to him. Sorry, but I have to ask. He's still my little brother.

And now all that is left is to sit back and play the waiting game...

Dude, this game sucks. Anyone up for Yahtzee?

( 5:16 PM ) Meghan

For only three days, this certainly does seem like a long work week.

One of the loneliest feelings is coming home after a long day of work and no one is there to greet you. Of course, work being what it is (and me being who I am), I'm usually too tired or shy to seek regular companionship from friends other than my roommates. I don't know if that's pathetic or normal. I'd wager normal a) because I want to make myself feel better and b) because I'm not completely used to the workforce. But what a way to spend the last semester of my senior year--career development, but with little to no social life. It doesn't help that two of my roommates are blissfully happy with one another. And while I'm happy for them...well, I'm sure you can gather the rest from all of the timeless, cliched stories of others who've lived through a similar song-and-dance.

Confidentiality is another frustrating theme. While it is extremely important and one of my most highly valued social work principles, it is difficult to abide by when people want to know how work is going. I fear to tell friends anything about my job anymore because it is a dangerously slippery slope and I don't want to put my client's dignity at risk. Confidentiality isn't just about keeping names safe--it's also broken if one provides too much identifying information. And so, I will continue to bottle up many of my anxieties and pray that burnout does not come too soon.

Didn't I swear off depressing entries last semester? D'oh. I'm not really depressed, but writing is cathartic for me, so you all will have to deal for now. I promise some humor on the next go-round. And oddly enough, I feel a little bit better.

( 11:25 AM ) Meghan

"Bobsledding is like sausage. We like it, but do we really want to see how it all comes together?"
--NBC coverage on the 2002 Winter Olympics

Do I really need to elaborate on the asinine reporting from this year's games?

( 8:32 PM ) Meghan

A one-day belated Happy 22nd Birthday to Brian!

( 6:00 PM ) Meghan

I must report on my successful survival from my first day of intake. All situations were handled professionally and quite exceptionally for a first session, I would say. How could I possibly execute such a feat, you ask? 'Cause I'm a smooth operator, a smooth operator...

The last couple of weeks have been incredible in terms of my client interaction. While I cannot share any details due to confidentiality, I will say that I have been able to help clients in some most unexpected ways during transport. I am still amazed at the appreciation people show when all you do is listen. And I must admit, practice is far different when you are left completely on your own. Finally, I am learning to make quick decisions, use my best judgement, and communicate on the professional level. Finally, I feel like a social worker.

A few weeks ago, you may remember that I asked God to tell me why I was placed with my current agency. I guess the paperwork with my answer contained much less red tape than I thought.

( 5:59 PM ) Meghan

Happy 22nd Birthday, Rob!

( 10:44 AM ) Meghan

"The nightengales sing such a beautiful tune,
You can listen all night by the light of the moon.
Now my song's not as pretty, but I'll say it again,
I am proud to be one of the frogs in the glen.

The butterfly is such a beautiful thing
With orange and yellow and black on its wing.
Now I'm only green, but I'll say it again,
I am proud to be one of the frogs in the glen.

The deer can jump higher, the fish can swim faster
Than ever a froggy swam.
But a deer can't dive deep.
And a fish can't, "Ribbit!"
So I'm proud to be what I am.

Be proud of your flippers and the flies you will catch,
And the logs that you leap and the eggs you will hatch.
We're under the stars and we're smaller than men,
But I'm proud to be one of the frogs in the glen.

Now sing it with me and we'll say it again,
I am proud to be one of the frogs in the glen."

--Kermit the Frog, The Frogs in the Glen

Is it not an interesting contrast that reminiscing about the way things used to be is now made so much simpler with modern technology?

( 10:39 AM ) Meghan

"My funny valentine,
Sweet, comic valentine.
You make me smile with my heart.
Your looks are laughable,
Unphotographable,
Yet you're my favorite work of art.

Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak,
Are you smart?

But don't change a hair for me,
Not if you care for me.
Stay little valentine stay.
Each day is Valentine's day."

--Frank Sinatra, My Funny Valentine

Mr. Sinatra, we definitely need more men like you.

( 12:58 PM ) Meghan

Remember, man, that thou art dust and unto dust thou shalt return.

( 8:09 AM ) Meghan

And for those of you that don't already know, I did pass my comprehensive final. Not exactly with flying colors, but at least three or four of the good ones. And I am thrilled :)

( 1:29 PM ) Meghan

"I thought my life would be a Mardi Gras, a never ending party...hah."

Let the final day of celebration commence!

( 8:12 AM ) Meghan

I was today.

This deserves at least some explanation. This evening I caught "Touched by an Angel" on CBS. Although I love this show, I had not seen it in several months because I ususally have other plans during its timeslot. Tonight, I was fortunate enough to see an episode eerily appropriate for my current circumstances. The main angels, Tess, Monica, and Andrew, have a newly created angel placed in their charge. The angel's name is Gloria, and although she has a sharp mind and a strong heart, she does not yet know how to use them. Thus, until she becomes wise to the ways of the world, her duty is to shadow her superiors on their assignments and help them where she can. Gloria fulfills this role with both enthusiasm and realism. She makes mistakes, she has lapses in judgment, and she cannot fully understand why things work the way that they do. But she also does as she is told, utilizes all the resources that she has, and comforts people in the small ways that she is allowed.

Gloria is essentially a practicum student for Heaven. What the audience sees her experience on-screen is what I go through every day in practicum. The mistakes, the hard lessons, the best intentions. Realizing how difficult the first days are because you cannot yet know everything that you should. Witnessing horror and tragedy, as well as miracles and love. Knowing that for someone you made a difference and that is what keeps you coming back.

Of all the episodes I could have seen at all the times in my life...one of many reasons that I still believe in angels.

( 10:00 PM ) Meghan

Which John Cusack Are You?

Quite appropriate for how I was feeling yesterday. Both good and evil had their way with me. And here I am still.

( 12:25 PM ) Meghan

Excerpts from Bob Dole's bestselling book, Great Political Wit: Laughing (Almost) All the Way to the White House:

"My 1996 campaign also had its share of lighter moments--and it might surprise you when I say that one of them was when I fell off the stage in Chico, California. (I continue to insist that this was my attempt at 'crowd surfing.')"

"Later years would afford Nixon unparalleled triumphs and public disgrace. Yet he never gave in and he never gave up. He handled defeat with a grace born of personal character that his harshest critics refused to acknowledge. I will never forget the June day in 1993 when we buried Pat Nixon in the magnificent rose gardens at the Nixon Library and Museum in Yorba Linda, California. Television viewers saw an old man walking unsteadily, bowed by the weight of his sorrow. The three hundred invited guests saw something else. As one of the eulogists at the simple service, I couldn't begin to match the moving talk that President Nixon himself delivered inside the library, away from television's prying eye.

Among other things, Nixon told how much he and Pat had enjoyed being grandparents. He recalled their youngest granddaughter, Jennie Eisenhower, asking Mrs. Nixon the first time how she wished to be addressed. After rejecting 'Grandmother' as too formal and 'Grandma' as too aged for her liking, Pat suggested to the little girl that she call her 'Ma.'

Jennie next put the same question to her famous grandfather. 'Oh, you can call me anything,' said Nixon, 'because I've been called everything.'

I wasn't the only one in the room struggling to control my emotions. A few feet away, dabbing at his eyes with a handkerchief, stood George McGovern, Nixon's 1972 election opponent. Asked by a reporter why he should honor the wife of a man whose alleged dirty tricks had denied him the presidency, George replied, 'You can't keep on campaigning forever.'"

( 9:09 PM ) Meghan

While it wasn't exactly a morning on Broadway, I had the privilege to see "Hugs and Kisses" for the first time. It is a musical designed to teach kindergarten through fifth grade students about sexual abuse. It is an excellent play and tastefully done because it does not utilize scare tactics to force learning.

The show centers around a group of friends putting on a play. During the course of rehearsal, the friends discover that one of the girls does not like to hug like the rest of them. Instead of listening to her problems, they write her off as "moody." Only one of the friends stays behind to listen--the dog named "Hugs." Hugs helps the child by fetching her teacher so that she has a "trusted adult" to divulge her problems. And of course, the friends reconcile and a happy ending ensues.

Watching this play as an adult gave me a fascinating perspective because I was able to see why the cast used certain techniques to get their point across. Throughout the show they emphasized key points and dissolved many myths of sexual abuse. For example, they explained that "secret touching" can happen to anyone from anyone. They made a specific effort to mention that it can happen to boys, as well as girls. One of their most interesting techniques was that intermittently throughout the performance, the cast members would hug and kiss each other in a way that was obviously warm and loving. I found this to be a wonderful way for the cast to alleviate potential paranoia about all touching because they continually state that most touching is good.

While I'm sure that most or all of you will never have occasion to see this play, I wanted you to know that there are great programs like this out there, educating our children. One of the most interesting things is, the parents do not have the opportunity to opt their children out of viewing. The school system saw these lessons as so important that they categorized the play under "Safety" as opposed to "Family Life Education." In some respects, the system is working.

( 10:43 PM ) Meghan

Today in history:

In 1943 the USS Dorchester was torpedoed by a German sub and went down with a loss of 600 lives. Four of these lives belonged to chaplains, one who was a Catholic priest, who gave up their life jackets to shipmates. This event led Congress afterward to mark February 3rd as "Four Chaplains Day."

( 10:12 AM ) Meghan

In an attempt to help Carson enhance the wisdom, don't eat at Applebee's period :)

I need to get my ass back to work. I've been laying around all weekend recovering from that stupid test. Not that it hasn't been fun re-watching high school movies and expanding my culinary horizons, but the responsible side of me is beginning to panic. D'oh.

GO PATRIOTS!

( 10:00 AM ) Meghan

The final written exam of my undergraduate career has come and gone. I'm still shaking.

( 12:23 PM ) Meghan

I suck.

( 3:21 AM ) Meghan

On Her Majesty's Secret Server...