The 42nd Kingdom

The 42nd Kingdom

So my mom and I went to Mike's American Grill for lunch where we were served by the hottest and most attentive waiter in the American Restaurants conglomerate. Even my mom acknowledged that he was paying me a great deal of undue attention. I tried to "make eyes" in return...to the point that I even asked his name and introduced myself. Oh my. While my efforts did not seem fruitless, I did not come out of lunch with a date.

The fateful conclusion:

Him (while looking in my direction): "Well, I hope you ladies enjoyed your lunch and that we'll see you back soon!"
Me: "Oh, yes, I hope so!"

Is there no acceptable way to pick up your waiter, or am I just really bad at this?

( 4:27 PM ) Meghan

School continues to go well, although the number of my classmates having recently been/preparing to get married is beginning to grate on me.

"Oh, well I'm from City X, but I moved up here in June because I got married."

"Yes, I'm really excited about my placement, but things are so hectic right now since I'm getting married in October."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear you discussing napkin trim...are you getting married?"
"Why, yes! In May!"
"Oh, I'm getting married in December! Let me give you some tips on avoiding boquet rot..."

Sigh. I suppose it's encouraging that most of these women are eight or nine years older than me and are just now planning their weddings. Meanwhile, I would like merely to be loved and appreciated. It doesn't help that this whole match.com thing is starting to give me the willies. There just seems something so unnatural about it.

Maybe CYAC is calling.

( 11:23 AM ) Meghan

As I was washing my car today, amidst sprays of water and Windex, I had a Social Work Brainstorm.

For years, I have been trying to discern my purpose in the profession. I have a variety of interests in several different client populations, but the idea I had today might very well be the one that combines them all.

Some of you may have heard me talk about wanting to found an orphanage. It would not be a step backward to the days of gruel, but rather, a sanctuary where children without family support will be wanted and loved.

Another career path I had in mind was to be a crisis pregnancy counselor. The many women who find themselves trapped in a pregnancy with no one to turn to would come to me for pre-natal care, personal and adoption counseling, and sometimes even food and shelter. This creates a safe and supportive atmosphere for the mother and a loving alternative to abortion for the child.

Why choose either? Why not do them both?

It would be an organization offering shelter, pre-natal care, baby supplies, and counseling to pregnant women. For the duration of their pregnancy (and a few months after, if necessary), the mother would have live-in or out-patient access to the facility, receiving all of these benefits in addition to assistance with jobs or education. At the end of the pregnancy, the mother would make a choice whether or not to keep her child. If she keeps the child, the child was always hers to keep. If she opts not to keep the child, she would leave the baby with the facility until he or she is adopted.

So many advantages! The woman would only have to deal with one caseworker that she knows and trusts, rather than having the bureaucracy of multiple agencies to overcome. I project minimized trauma associated with adoption, as the woman would know firsthand that she was leaving her baby with capable and trustworthy people. And as for the child, he or she would not be bounced around between hundreds of foster parents, which would establish an essential perception of permanency from the beginning.

We would integrate loads of additional services...counseling for fathers, parenting classes, support groups. We could even integrate an intergenerational program with the local elderly population. The old folks could come and play with the kids and feel useful, and the children would be socialized in addition to receiving extra love and individual attention. And of course, who could leave out the resident dogs, present for protection and pet therapy purposes. I could see this as particularly beneficial for the mothers whose pregnancies were the result of rape...the calming effect and unconditional love of animals might be just the therapy they need.

Whew. Well, whether a brainstorm or a tempest of empowerment, that is certainly...something, isn't it? I would really appreciate feedback from all of my faithful readers. Be brutal, although I wouldn't mind a complementary strengths perspective. If it is possible, I want to make this a reality. Many people, and people yet to come, could be counting on it.

( 3:47 PM ) Meghan

Well, I was not aware until this very moment that love comes with a curriculum. My gut reaction is "Oy," but I'm damn curious to see some program evaluations after the initial implementation.

Speaking of love, a relative who shall remain anonymous is trying to set me up with one of her co-workers. Who is 30. But is apparently hot and well-mannered as well. What do you all think?

( 11:30 PM ) Meghan

And the first day of safari through the jungles of grad school...

Anti-climactic.

I don't know quite what I was expecting...a tad more enthusiasm might have been helpful. Today I had Social Work and Social Justice, followed by Mental, Emotional, and Behavioral Disorders. The former was not too taxing, as the course basically seems a reiteration of the reason that social work exists. "We must acknowledge that racism is real, that even social workers have their biases," etc. No doubt this class will encompass many a heated discussion on how to make each other and the rest of society think and act with more tolerance. And to realize that what the world needs now really is love, sweet love. Been there, done that.

For the latter, my professor is an interesting person, but teaches by straight lecture in a monotone and rather undynamic manner. I plan to work hard to get past that, as the subject matter is simply fascinating. I don't know (or can't recall) much specific information regarding mental illness from prior classes. The topic was usually a small unit amongst many in a general psychology course. But this is the kind of academic "meat" that I yearn for. I often found it frustrating that many of the social work lessons are merely, "you should know or be aware of X," but they do not state specifically what exactly X is. For example, the first three years of my BSW education were focused on cultural awareness and sensitivity, e.g., there are many cultures different from ours, be conscious of said differences. The trend in the profession is now toward "cultural competency," to know specifically what those differences are. What a refreshing shift! Now instead of "other cultures have different methods of resolving conflict," I will hear, "the native Hawaiian culture has a different method of resolving conflict, namely ho'oponopono, which utilizes steps X, Y, and Z." In that vein, I do hope that I will build a strong competency in the area of mental disorders from this class, but not so strong that I end up diagnosing myself with every complex in the glossary. Not uncommon, so I hear.

And that was Meghan's first day of school. Tomorrow morning I'll start off bright and early with Social Work Practice with Individuals, Families, and Groups. I'm not quite sure how this will pan out, as it sounds like Micro, Mezzo, and Macro rolled into one...I expect each class to be quite a brainful! But, like all things, it remains to be seen.

Back into the wilds!

( 10:53 PM ) Meghan

After many months, I finally made it to see Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron. Spirit included cutting-edge animation and a sweeping, hybrid score of western and soft pop from Hans Zimmer and Bryan Adams. Yay or nay? I say "neigh."

Spirit, beneath all the sentiment and CGI infused by the Hollywood hegemony, is not even a story about a horse. Spirit, indeed, is a valiant stallion who battles against the oppression of enslaved horses. He learns about family, love, friendship, and an array of other assorted values along his travels. But the feature that brought this picture to life was the demonstration of repeated perseverence. Through new worlds and new beings, raw weather and fair, the horse (in a moral of vast simplicity) never gave up. He never gave up hope, but more importantly, he never gave up trying.

I did it again...I took the G-rated plunge and saw a nice "kids'" movie. Not by far. If there's one lesson I want to take into this new stage of my life and my profession, it's not to give up. To all of you who have begun again...another year, another school, another mile-high challenge...keep that at heart. And when they speak of us in later times, we, too, will be remembered as those spirits who could not be broken.

It's a new world, in a new land,
And it's waiting for me...

Here I am.

( 9:31 PM ) Meghan

I surrendered. I registered for match.com. All right, fellas, check out MegghaTron's profile and let's have the e-mails rolling in!

And I knew I loved you before I met you,
I think I dreamed you into life.
I knew I loved you before I met you,
I have been waiting all my life..."

--Savage Garden, I Knew I Loved You

( 11:39 PM ) Meghan

I might add, that as long as I am without comments, links, or imood, there will be puppies. By gum, there will be puppies.

( 7:28 PM ) Meghan

Mandatory attendance (i.e., temporary imprisonment) was just completed at the VCU graduate orientation. I had a pleasant time meeting other social workers, although the time requirement of seven hours easily could have been cut in half. Being one of the only BSWs in the NoVA program, I sensed that I was in the minority of people wanting to beat her head against the wall from buzzword overload. Empowerment...change agent...resources...networking...community. All the old favorites back again, attempting to define "social work" for the newcomers as I worked on designing a makeshift noose from my handouts. I suppose that's the price one pays for being brainwashed ahead of schedule.

Among the positive aspects, my classmates (99% female--no surprises) seem like genuinely friendly individuals and the professors presented themselves as a very supportive bunch. I did run into a couple of JMU alumnae, as well as a TJ alumna, which was more than surprising. I thought I was the only one to have "abandoned" her scientific and technological foundation for the dark side of the warm and fuzzy!

Well, a new honor code has been signed. The picture for a new I.D. card has been snapped. My academic abbreviation has been changed from SOWK to SLWK (which I find far inferior, as it is unpronouncable and makes the profession sound slimy and manipulative). A new school and a new school year are upon me.

Hm...let's see if I can turn things around. I prefer being on top :)

( 7:26 PM ) Meghan

!*#@&^#)*@(#!!#*!!*@%!#@

I probably should have examined Blogger's service updates more carefully before diving in and changing the template. But I didn't. The fine folks at Blogger have promised to repair the template server, but until they do, I will be devoid of links and comments.

Hmph...if I were a real queen, the case would not be as such.

Yeah, I know...I'm not :)

( 11:41 PM ) Meghan

The 42nd Kingdom is to be under renovation until further notice. As the Blogger Support Team has not deemed it necessary to provide me with my template for the past month, I now seek a new one in order to expand the Royal Court.

( 6:10 PM ) Meghan

Unforgivably gratuitous...

Approximately eight years of Dog Fancy subscriptions have finally met with the recycling bin. Can you blame me?

( 1:16 AM ) Meghan

My room is clean for the first time in several years. It stands now as a veritable paradise, complete with computer, desk, newly framed photos, plants, and fountain. It will be the Utopia of Productivity, conducive to work in every way. It will be the Fortress of Solitude, shadowing me from the prying eyes of the parental units. It will be an Escape from the world of MSW woes, ready at every turn to rejuvenate my wearied soul.

I'm taking bets on how long it will actually stay clean. Who's in?

*Insider's tip: The room was confirmed to have stayed clean throughout the duration of this blog entry.

( 11:58 PM ) Meghan

Yesterday was filled with the long-awaited adventure to Richmond where we got Ian settled at VCU. He'll be staying in Rhoads Hall (where he'll get to be a "Rhoads" Scholar, haha) with air conditioning and the bathroom right across the hall. D'oh. But I suppose I can gloat in that I will have come out of college a stronger, more toughened individual, having faced head-on the adversity of the old days. Right?

Ah, the old days. Of course Ian's move-in made me think of my own new-freshman nuances. The smell of my first dorm room--stagnant air, embraced by stale cleaning fluids and old socks. The sticky feeling of cold linoleum on my feet because I didn't have the rug in just yet. The sweaty frustration of arranging the furniture based on the location of electrical outlets. Then, when my family left, being able to look out the window across the campus at the view and knowing that I had this time and this place to make my own. And I was homesick and lonely and proud and scared and excited and a little bit sleepy all in the same moment.

I hope Ian felt it too.

On second, thought, no. I hope he felt something completely different. It's his turn.

But I do hope that my little brother heard his alarm this morning.

( 11:24 AM ) Meghan

Last night, I had a dream. I dreamt that I seized a single moment...and in doing so, I atoned for all those moments that naivete lost for me long ago. I am more than inclined to believe that it could never be. Maybe in another time, in another world, on another stage where we are merely different players.

Maybe it means that I've learned from my mistakes. And maybe that I'll always have my dreams.

( 10:47 AM ) Meghan

In an attempt to go over the asphalt and through the mall to grandmother's house in Alexandria, I got lost and ended up in Lorton. To correct this (ever-so minor) navigational error, I took I-95 back to familiar grounds.

Yeah, I did it.

It's only a matter of time before NoVA is my bitch.

Did I say "bitch?" Because I meant "land of invaluable empowerment resources."

Yeah, I said bitch.

( 11:50 PM ) Meghan

Report received 13 August 2002, circa 1500 hours from Academic Headquarters in Richmond:

I have been officially waived out of Human Behavior in the Social Environment (HBSE) I & II. Not only that, but upon examination of my undergraduate record, the professor in charge of course waivers voluntarily offered me placement out of the MSW research class. The icing on the cake is that in place of HBSE, I am taking an elective on mental health, which will complement my practicum perfectly. And thus I present to you, freshman year at VCU:

Monday
1:00-3:40 PM - Social Work and Social Justice
4:00-6:00 PM - Emotional, Mental & Behavioral Disorders

Tuesday
9:20 AM-12:00 PM - Social Work Practice with Individuals, Families, and Groups
Afternoon will be filled with staff training for practicum

Wednesday
Practicum or scheduled slacking

Thursday
Surely even more practicum! (these hours will become more defined later this week)
7:00-9:40 PM - Social Welfare Policy, Community Planning and Organizational Practice

Friday
Practicum or scheduled slacking

Yes, there are still some minor details to work out, but I'd say this is looking pretty slick so far. And it seems that I have an ally in the Social Work Department. In addition to this great "waiver favor," she complimented me on my excellent writing skills and is making it a point to meet me at orientation. Wow. Rodney the Ram must be proud.

And to those of you who told me that the school front could improve...well, I don't hate to admit it. I'm glad you were right.

( 6:45 PM ) Meghan

I can't place it at all, but this week has been, on the whole, surreal. There's no better word...everything has seemed strange and unfamiliar. Odd that. The unfamiliar I can usually deal with, but the once familiar has another layer of components to sort out in its dealings.

I began the week by saying goodbye to the first home that I made my own and the city that gave me the final encore to my adolescence. I then returned to Burke to sleep in what my body considers a strange and foreign place. Just as I arrived, I started saying goodbye to friends again. Yesterday, I took a day trip to Cape May, and although it was not unpleasant, it was in a rushed manner that I should never have to experience such a place of comfort and relaxation. And throughout all this has been the looming feeling of getting used to a new school, schedule, and job all over again.

It's funny that it's so simple--I'm out of my element and I'm not used to it. I'm not used to NoVA being "home" again. I'm not used to running up and down stairs and being told to do things. I'm not used to being this sedentary because why take a walk, what's out there to see? I'm not used to two of my best friends not being a door knock (or a lazy-bitch IM) away. I'm not used to not being able to walk my campus and "do school" with all major limbs tied behind my back. It's all of these little things that my body has trouble comprehending. It's gotten to my head and it's been making me afraid.

And I'm about done with being afraid.

It's a new world,
It's a new start.
It's alive with the beating of young hearts.
It's a new day,
It's a new plan.
I've been waiting for you...

Here I am.

--Bryan Adams, Here I Am

( 12:58 AM ) Meghan

Ah, the first evening back in NoVA for many weeks. A clear, starlit night at a cafe in Reston with two precious lady friends. An experience for the ages, as it included the worst wait service of our young lives and food so average that I can barely remember what I ordered three-and-a-half hours ago:

Cindy: "Do you think the waiter was giving us the shaft because we were young and he felt he could get away with it?"
Meghan: "I suspect that based on our gender and other demographics that he was attempting to flirt with us to bring his tip back up to par."
Catherine: "Flirting? Oh, I thought he was gay!"

Any way you slice it, we were not impressed with this chap.

Meghan: "So our wait service was absolutely appalling."
Ian: "Did the waiter expect you to serve him?"

Perhaps that was the key all along...

But my favorite part remains the moist towelettes delivered to us with our S'mores. Printed on the front is a tiny American flag with the following special message on the back:

[We] will donate a portion of the proceeds from the sale of this Fresh Nap to Charities for the Attack on America.

I have to stop assuming that marketing strategists can stoop any further below the ludicrous precedents they have already set related to the September 11th tragedies. They always seem to find a way to outdo themselves.

( 12:31 AM ) Meghan

Goodnight, Justinne, city bride
Goodnight, Andrew, by her side

Goodnight, Jason, in Springfield
Goodnight to new life, soon revealed

Goodnight, Gifford, Converse, Shorts
Goodnight, folks of many sorts

Goodnight, fish at Newman Lake
Goodnight to sludge in which you'll wake

Goodnight to good ol' Duke Dog Alley
Goodnight, Shenandoah Valley

Goodnight, chimes at Wilson Hall
Goodnight, hoops of basketball

Goodnight to the Parking Forces
Goodnight to the cows and horses

Goodnight, CPS Verona
Goodnight, kegs of gold Corona

Goodnight, Jess', Klein's, and Dave's
Goodnight to mountain views and caves

Goodnight, social work professors
Goodnight to eight intense semesters

Goodnight, ISAT, and your Dean
Goodnight to Our Lady of the Silver Screen

Goodnight, fearless Dr. Rose
Goodnight to each of you that knows

Goodnight to college, tried and true
Goodnight, goodnight JMU

( 8:51 PM ) Meghan

On Her Majesty's Secret Server...