The 42nd Kingdom

The 42nd Kingdom

Ah, a new 17-inch monitor makes me glow. Although that might be the radiation it's emitting. Hmm. But it's still making my Monday. Almost makes me think I should be doing work right now...

( 9:50 PM ) Meghan

I saw Sweet Home Alabama with my mom this afternoon...recommended if you want some ol' fashioned, down-home, chick-flicky goodness. What, like you couldn't tell from the previews?

Is life ever like the movies? It's so formulaic...everything is going down the toilet, but somehow, right before the brink of the ultimate heartbreak, you do it. You manage to gather up just enough courage to say something so genuine, so perfect, because hey, what have you got to lose? And it works. Not because you were manipulative, but because you told the truth.

And you know how the audience is always on the edge of their seat? "No, NO you fool! What are you doing?? Can't you see that he's the one?!" What is my audience saying? Can't you guys put down your popcorn long enough to speak up?

( 5:33 PM ) Meghan

Tonight I declare that even my blog will have no attention span. Also, there will be no jig. Alas, I had to turn in my paper...a heart-wrenching epic on child abuse and protection. Why do I feel like I am exploiting the suffering of our youth for a grade?

Note to self: No more with these bullshit undergrad procrastination habits. I'm in the major leagues now.

I think when the water-main broke, it soaked the entirety of Northern Virginia.

Social work. I've been a part of the profession in some capacity for more than four years. And only now do I see how much bigger the job is than any one person could ever be. How will I do it? Love and maintain boundaries...help and eradicate dependency...understand how the interactions of body chemistry, personality, and environmental catalysts make people see things that don't exist.

I am only one person.

Who is not Jane Addams.

( 1:01 AM ) Meghan

Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and oh, so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain was yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When you were a tender and callow fellow.

Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow...

Try to remember when life was so tender
That no one wept except the willow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That dreams were kept beside your pillow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That love was an ember about to billow.

Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow...

--The Fantasticks, Try to Remember

I just got an e-mail from VCU stating that there was a water-main break and that classes may be cancelled tomorrow. If this is true and that I have an extra week for my child abuse paper, I will do it. I will jig.

( 10:41 PM ) Meghan

It has come to my attention that I need to alert the world to some concepts that, while appearing obvious to the keen of eye, are too wickedly subtle for the masses to grasp. Here are but a few, in no particular order:

Do not have sex with children. Yours or anyone else's.

Do not beat children. There is less than a fine line between physical discipline and abuse.

Think before you have sex--it creates more victims for the system, and spreads emotional confusion and disease. 16,000 people are being infected every day with HIV/AIDS. I don't like those odds, do you?

If you are receiving public funds, you cannot discriminate by race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or handicap.

If you are pissed off with a private organization for discriminating on these bases, advocate against them only if necessary. Otherwise, deal. There are more important battles worth fighting. See above.

Don't discriminate in the first place.

Stay in school.

Get a job.

If you screw up, own your consequences and ask for help.

Sigh...believe that change is possible.

( 9:02 PM ) Meghan

T'was a brilliant day in the neighboring kingdom of Crownsville where the queen and her court partook in jolly celebration amongst peasants and sovereigns alike. They bantered with pirates, were entertained by fools and toasted with mead. The queen was pleased and the people rejoiced! Yay!

And then the queen returned home to her parents' castle, where she lies in wait for her freedom and her prince. Until such time she goes royally nuts.

( 8:05 PM ) Meghan

My Judeo-Christian argument below has been edited and additions have been made. What can I say? I got angrier and more inspired.

( 10:59 AM ) Meghan

This evening, through a series of Livejournal links, I found an entry of religious commentary. Now this was a particularly creative piece, as the author took a questionnaire on abusive relationships and answered the questions as if the "abuse victim" were in a relationship with God.

I am finally coming out with it. I am entirely fed up with this kind of attitude. For reasons inexplicable to me, it has become socially acceptable to mock the beliefs of those of the Judeo-Christian persuasion. Now I will grant that many of those in the extreme right-wing have been known to spread ideas of intolerance and hate in the name of "love," but to generalize all of the Torah/Bible faithful based on a few is nothing more than stereotyping and bigotry. But some seem to think that it's okay because the Judeo-Christian population is the majority. As if hate were okay when you pick on someone larger than you. I don't notice too many references to Islam. Not trendy enough? Too dangerous to make fun of these days? They're of the same God...

Furthermore, I think it's entirely foolish to base beliefs and spiritual life on merely the historical context of the Old Testament. We belong to a changing world, and Christians and Jews have changed along with the rest of humanity. We have come to recognize the inherent dignity all people. And I admit freely that we have seen darkest moments--Jews destroyed Jericho, Catholics exercised the Inquisition, Christian explorers wreaked havoc on the world of the Native Americans--just as every other group has seen darkness. The Roman Empire, the Nazi party, Communist Cuba, Rwandan genocide...need I continue?

To those of you who feel sorry for the Jews and Christians based on our religions and common spiritual heritage--what are you sorry for? Have you talked to any of us lately? I can't speak for us all of course, but the vast majority that I know are quite happy with the directions of our lives. Inspiration from God has helped us over generations to combat oppression, share materials and essence of charity, empower the weak to stand against injustice. And you scoff at us, why? Empirical evidence is lacking.

And the comparison between abuse and a relationship with God? Well, I worked in abuse intervention. I heard stories and saw the results every day of children who were beaten and raped. I witnessed evil. And if someone called in to me, alleging that God had abused her, I would tell her that I'm sorry; that her complaint does not meet the definition of abuse or neglect. That maybe the two are having problems, but not to give up. There is hope! Couple's therapy is always a promising solution. It's called prayer.

Just encouraging humanity to give up "THAT" God? Sure, I'll meet you where you are:

"But the people answered, 'Far be it from us to forsake the Lord for the service of other gods. For it was the Lord, our God, who brought us and our fathers up out of the land of Egypt, out of a state of slavery. He performed those great miracles before our very eyes and protected us along our entire journey and among all the peoples through whom we passed.'"

Joshua 24: 16-17

In [Nazi] Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. They they came for me--and by that time no one was left to speak up.

--Martin Niemoeller

( 1:14 AM ) Meghan

Spent the evening with Amelie...she comes highly recommended from me.

For those of you who have seen the film, you'll remember that there are several scenes in which are portrayed seemingly arbitrary likes, dislikes, and quirks from each character. Why not do some of mine? It's not as if I should be studying or something:

I like the sound of running water. Showers, washing machines, oceans, fountains...doesn't matter. All lead me back to a familiar, infantile sense of peace.

The only sauce topping truly fit for my ice cream is butterscotch, but caramel can be an acceptable substitute.

I have always wanted to pick up an accent. Not for the romance of it (okay, maybe a little), but because I find it fascinating how the brain can unconsciously submit it to its surroundings.

I don't like nuts in brownies. A nutritionally sound waste of space where good chocolate should be.

Van Morrison's Brown-eyed Girl makes me cringe. Uggh.

If there's one thing I can't bear, it's to see an elderly person mistreated or unable to take care of him or herself.

I consistently see the number 343 throughout my surroundings. I don't know why, nor what it means. It began many years ago when I saw the movie Executive Decision because that was their flight number. I have noticed it ever since.

When I was a child, I designated a gender to each letter of the alphabet and to most numbers.

Hm...this tiny delve into my psyche explains alot. When one of you knows what it is, drop me a line.

( 11:44 PM ) Meghan

Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don't I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?

I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me.
I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break.
I crave, I love, I've waited long enough.
I try as hard as I can.

Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don't I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?

I laugh, I feel, I make believe it's real.
I fall, I freeze, I pray down on my knees.
I hope, I stand, I take it like a man.
I try as hard as I can.

Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don't I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?

Why do you see, why do you see,
Why do you see right through me...

--Kasey Chambers, Not Pretty Enough

She forgot clumsy, lazy, self-centered, cowardly, disorganized, perpetually late, and socially awkward...but I know. And so I present all of my Insecurities for all the world to see. With hope, they'll stay posted here and not in my life.

( 1:59 PM ) Meghan

Had a lovely evening reviving the "sharing and caring from Saint Bernadette's." One of God's greatest blessings is a friend with whom you can always make old memories come alive and still moves with you for the memories yet to come.

Kinda makes you feel all warm and squirrely inside...

( 12:18 AM ) Meghan

My glasses are still on probation--I'm not entirely sure if my vision is improved. I feel as though I'm constantly looking through a window and the frames on the periphery of my view are distracting enough to piss me off. Now I realize how much more adaptable children are than adults...this didn't bother me 18 years ago.

What I really want is laser surgery. I have 20/20 in my right eye, but an astigmatism in my left eye, which surgery could easily cure.

Okay, what I really want is a monocle on a braided gold chain to make me look scholarly and distinguished. Then I'd need a British accent. Both would ensure me caviar at high-class literary social gatherings. You know, all those galas that NASW will arrange in my honor once I've solved this whole hunger-and-oppression thing?

( 11:15 PM ) Meghan

This was written by my brother Ian some months ago, with some minor editing from me. In honor.

( 8:00 AM ) Meghan

Tomorrow in the group I lead at work, I'll be doing a workshop on voter registration. Not your typical 9/11 memorial activity, I know. The timing of the anniversary and registration happened to coincide, and I decided the session would be appropriate to the day. As in the rest of the country this Wednesday, there will be mourning. There will be discussion. There will be remembrance. But now, there will also be another opportunity. For the exercise of a right. For the protection of liberty. For more Americans to have a chance to establish their voices in the country that we love.

Who controls this nation?
Who impacts our rights?
Who decides our future?

Not terrorists.

It is we, the advocates.
It is, we, the voters.
It is, we, the people of the United States.

( 10:34 PM ) Meghan

This morning I discovered another Pro-Life feminist in my Social Justice class. And my professor seemed intrigued by my "equalist" theory of feminism, as well as my input on resisting the gratuitous resistance of gender roles.

Today was a good day.

( 11:03 PM ) Meghan

My first time viewing Blogger through new spectacles. And this pair I'll actually wear. The optomestrist finally explained to me in a logical following why my brain might blind me without them. A toast to logic!

Darn you, Brendan Fraser, being all...married :)

( 12:18 AM ) Meghan

I'm in luck! It's just about time for a Brendan Fraser weekend...

( 10:59 PM ) Meghan

I think I'm going to say, "Screw it" to this whole relationship thing for awhile. Not to reject any and all notions of romance, but I'm tired of wishing for something that's not likely to happen anytime soon. I need to be by myself for awhile. I'd like to determine my full social worker potential without any distractions. My standards are ridiculous and unattainable for most men anyway...on match.com, I've been rejecting profiles based on spelling errors. Sigh. Well, if he's that good, he'll find me.

I need a love that grows.
I don't want it unless I know.
With each passin' hour,
Someone, somehow
Will be there, ready to share.

I need a love that's strong,
I'm so tired of being alone.
But will my lonely heart
Play the part
Of the fool again, before I begin?

Foolish heart, hear me calling.
Stop before you start falling.
Foolish heart, heed my warning,
You've been wrong before,
Don't be wrong anymore.

Feelin' that feelin' again,
Playin' a game I can't win.
Love's knockin' on the door
Of my heart once more
Think I'll let her in
Before I begin?

Foolish heart, hear me calling.
Stop before you start falling.
Foolish heart, heed my warning,
You've been wrong before,
Don't be wrong anymore.
Foolish heart...

--Steve Perry, Foolish Heart

( 8:10 PM ) Meghan

I found the following through one of the most interesting blogs I've discovered yet. This is truly one of the most creative therapeutic interventions I've ever heard of:

A man I saw years ago on Vision-TV, a Zoroastrian and professional hairdresser, had developed a unique spare-time ministry: giving free make-overs to battered women. He styled their long-neglected hair, massaged their scalps, covered up bruises. As the only man allowed, even welcomed, in the shelters he visited, this hairdresser had an awesome responsibility: to earn the women's trust (to let him, after all, hold scissors so close to their faces); to show them that a man's hands could heal as well as hurt.

( 6:16 PM ) Meghan

I would like to take a few moments to express my utter disgust with The National Abortion and Reproductive Rights Action League (NARAL). For the past several months, NARAL has been buying commercial time to air ads that endorse maintaining the legality of abortion. Their latest ad features a number of children frolicking on a playground as a soothing voiceover asks the question, "What will we tell them?" in the event that abortion is once again made illegal. They wonder how the children will respond to a future in which they did not have the "choice" that their parents had.

This is sickening and nothing more than pure manipulation. How dare NARAL use innocent children to promote the potential death of other children. Here's a question, NARAL. How would the children who died from choice respond to your efforts? What made them different from the children on the playground in your ad? Is it that they were uglier? More of an inconvenience? Unable to tell you in words what they thought or felt? Why did you treat them as less than human when all they were was small?

I hope you told them. I hope you told those children after filming your commercial that you supported the right for their mothers to kill them...and that they were just lucky, I guess. I hope you told them so that you could see the looks in their eyes and the fear in their hearts as they faced the truth...that you personally might have advocated for their death.

And one more thing, NARAL. Don't you even think about calling this a "women's rights" issue. I'm a woman too. And I don't remember being asked.

( 5:58 PM ) Meghan

Coming home from work today, my normal 40-minute commute took an extra half an hour. Traffic was bumper-to-bumper because some of the ramps to I-66 had been closed off. I sat in my car and sighed for the first 45 minutes, worn with a mild headache from the nervousness of my first day. It was only when I got home that I learned that two Oakton high school students had been killed in a car accident at Route 50 and the Fairfax County Parkway. Because when they were at a stoplight, the driver of the dump truck behind them wasn't paying enough attention and couldn't brake in time.

Two students--dead on the first day of school. Killed a few hundred feet from the route that I drive every day...to the place where I learn how to help people, to teach them what society expects of them. And you know what? I'll try to teach, and enable, and empower for the rest of my life, but some problems don't require social workers. Just common sense. Eyes to see. Actions based on knowing how powerfully you can affect another person's life.

Had I only known what was at stake...I would have prayed. I would have hoped. I would have waited all day so that those two boys could have lived a little longer--seen a little more of the world with young, idealistic eyes.

If you would...a moment of silence for those two gentleman and their families and friends. I did not know them, but they were a part of me through my community. And one more too...your prayers and thoughts to drivers--that they are patient, intelligent, and act responsibly behind the wheel.

It's a lesson long been heard before. But if we were really listening, two students right now would be safe in bed, asleep and awaiting their second day of school.

( 11:52 PM ) Meghan

Some men hunt for sport,
Others hunt for food,
The only thing I'm hunting for,
Is an outfit that looks good...

See my vest, see my vest,
Made from real gorilla chest.
Feel this sweater, there's no better,
Than authentic Irish setter.

See this hat, 'twas my cat.
My evening wear - vampire bat.
These white slippers are albino
African endangered rhino.

Grizzly bear underwear,
Turtles' necks, I've got my share.
Beret of poodle, on my noodle
It shall rest.

Try my red robin suit,
It comes one breast or two,
See my vest, see my vest,
See my vest.

Like my loafers? Former gophers --
It was that or skin my chauffeurs,
But a greyhound fur tuxedo
Would be best.

So let's prepare these dogs!

Save two for matching clogs!

See my vest, see my vest,
Oh please, won't you see my vest!

Another amazing weekend in Blacksburg...time soaked through with Simpsons' quotes, fraudulent wedding plans, bonfires, liquored-up cookies, avoidance of football riots, your mom, boy-band movies, and enough cuddling to make even the Hokie Bird stop and say "Aww!"

All exactly what I needed before the reality of a new practicum hits me in the face tomorrow.

Another million merci's to Catherine and Justin for being five-star hosts :)

( 9:25 PM ) Meghan

On Her Majesty's Secret Server...