The 42nd Kingdom

The 42nd Kingdom

I'm done. Except for the couple of Policy commentaries due Thursday. Which I don't really count because they're a joke and three steps backward from what was required of me in my JMU Social Policy class sophomore year in undergrad.

Speaking of college, it's hard to believe that a year ago I was pondering my first hangover, sweating missiles over my oral exam, and trying to decide what shoes I would least likely trip in while walking across the stage. But most importantly, should the shoes be citron to match the tassle?

They were silver.

I wish I had been as passionate about learning this year. Oh, I learned...more than I expected, but I don't feel like it was enough. Although I was glad to have them around, I want to put a ceasefire on the theories. Give me practice! Immersion! A placement to call my second home! Then maybe I can get some work done around here that matters. I have an idea of where my practicum might be next year. No announcements yet...I think that's how I jinxed it the last time.

I thought I would be more relaxed after turning in that last paper...almost there. Grades will be posted in about two weeks.

Lord, may I be graded according to what I deserve.
Lord, may what I deserve be a B or higher.

( 12:50 PM ) Meghan

May I just say how strategic and wise it was for me to leave my Practice paper for last! Again! Let's hear it for writing a paper on applying family therapy after having never actually worked with a family! Crud.

For all intents and purposes, I've finished my Crisis Intervention paper, saving it for tomorrow for a final look-through. When I feel like slightly less of a crisis sponge.

...

"Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it."
--Rafiki, The Lion King

But I wish I could resolve it too.

( 10:05 PM ) Meghan

I wanted to spout about how much this week sucks, but it did have quite a few moments...client bonding, pet therapy, a lot of good academic feedback. Especially in Policy...we did very well on our health insurance presentation since my grandmother silenced everyone with the horrific truth about Medicaid. Thus, we were the only group that didn't get grilled with the professor's questions afterward! Rather ironic that our topic was supposedly the most boring and we ended up with the most dynamic presentation. We included PowerPoint, a guest speaker, and a video clip (John Q. of course) while every other group's method was to talk for an hour. Score for us. And I got to spend some time with Grandma and provide her some public catharsis. Which ended up to be familially comforting and educational for us all.

And then there was being rejected from my mediation practicum (due to a lack of desk space--urgh!) and still having two massive papers left to write. I can tell it's Finals Week. I'm getting that all-too-familiar FreeCell craving.

Home stretch...so close...

( 6:19 PM ) Meghan

On the more laughable side, this is the first time I've ever gotten a sunburn from going to Church. Heh heh. Ow.

( 10:16 AM ) Meghan

I myself am the bread of life.
You and I are the bread of life,
Taken and blessed,
Broken and shared by Christ.
That the world might live.

--Rory Cooney, Bread of Life

Right now I'm feeling more broken. Though it seems no coincidence that the celebration of new life should coincide with the semester's end. Happy Easter. Bring it on.

( 11:30 PM ) Meghan

For a Catholic radio station, doesn't this just seem a little over the top?

I wonder if they play alot of Madonna...

Shouldn't I be working?

( 5:51 PM ) Meghan

Justice is the one thing you should always find
You got to saddle up your boys,
You got to draw a hard line
When the gun smoke settles we'll sing a victory tune,
We'll all meet back at the local saloon.
We'll raise up our glasses against evil forces,
Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses.

--Toby Keith and Willie Nelson, Beer for my Horses

We're on our way.

( 7:19 PM ) Meghan

Instead of being vague and merely posting the results, I'm going to answer all of the questions right here for your viewing pleasure. Or masochistic tendencies. Your choice.

Are you a JMU Girl?

Is mrs. greens your favorite place to eat on campus?

Hell no. Lakeside Express (a sandwich eatery) was my favorite, hands-down. Saved me many a night freshman year from resorting to the vending machines while pulling all-nighters.

Do you go to UREC as often as you go to class?

Yeah, right. I think I can count on two hands the number of times I went to UREC for exercise. Wasn't bad, but it wasn't my bag either. The worst experience was watching the guy across from me stare while I was trying to do thigh presses...brrr. So I went to the pool, mostly. But major props to Steve the masseur for the stress education and 40-minute deep-tissue massage...mmm.

Do you do your hair and make-up when you wear sweats?

I'll do my hair (as in brush it and put it back) but not makeup since I rarely wear it anyway. I like to look presentable since I look stupid enough while working out, but there are no facials or salon-trips beforehand.

Do you drive a jetta?

Honda Civic, all the way.

Do you have a sorority sticker on your car?

Pfft.

Have you ever been running before 9am?

I actually have, thanks to Judy. Only a few times, but I preferred our morning treks through the brush to ISAT. There was usually some running involved anyway.

Do you shop at Abercrombie and Fitch?

Ha. Maybe I would, if anything there fit me.

Do you highlight your hair?

No. I dyed it blonde once for the hell of it. I was considering conducting an experiment in which I would observe men's treatment toward me to see if I was treated differently, attempting to verify or debunk the cultural myth that men prefer blondes, thinking that they really do have more fun. And then I realized I was a junior in college and had enough work to do.

Do you grind on your girlfriends or kiss them at parties?

No grinding. No kissing...at parties.

Do you wear a size 2 jeans?

To be able to do this, I would have to lose 50 pounds and donate my liver.

Do you own a fake Kate Spade?

I don't even know what this is.

Is "Pretty Woman" one of your favorite movies?

I've never actually seen it, so no.

Do you secretly listen to Britney Spears?

I'll say yes, but it's really not so secret. And not as much as I used to.

Do you own a Tiffany's chain necklace?

Nope.

Do you go to Highlawn on Thursday nights?

In four years, I never did get to Highlawn (the local "club"). Although I was invited there once by the guy who was stalking my roommate because he thought I was Asian. I politely declined and didn't burst his bubble.

Have you ever dressed up as an angel, a devil, a fairy, or a whore for Halloween?

One year as a Victoria's Secret angel, the next as a Playboy bunny. Last year as a bar wench, since it was a college party (and I had a bodice to use). Halloween is a total excuse to dress like a slut. You know us Catholic girls.

Do you think you're fat?

I'll say yes, but I prefer "with healthy proportions."

Do you have any Monet pictures in your room or apartment?

Never had Monet. Renoir yes, but Monet was so overdone.

Does your bathroom have a theme?

I admit, senior year I had a beach theme. It is my shame (and Rob's) to have spent an hour-and-a-half trying to pick out just the right color mats to match my seashell shower curtain. Sometimes I do need to be saved from myself.

Do you get a monthly allowance from your parents?

Well, now I do, but since I'm taking this as if I were still at JMU, I'll say no. I had a job and paid for my own books and fun. Made possible by issuing other JMU girls parking tickets. And guys. And professors...

I scored a 25%. Which I guess seals that I'm not a real JMU girl. They tend to do their scoring elsewhere.

( 12:05 AM ) Meghan

I had my interview and I think it went very well. My (soon-to-be-I-hope) supervisor said that as long as I could put up with his weird sense of humor that this would be a good placement for me. The only thing is, he needs to check with his supervisor to make sure that they can spatially accommodate me, e.g., allocating me my own phone, computer, and place to put my coffee mug and wacky pens. This is really nice because personal space has been a problem at my current practicum and I need a place to settle down and call my professional home. It was a happy accident that I got my own desk and office at CPS, but this time...well, since I'm almost on my own in the real world, I'd be greatly honored if the real world started purposely carving out a place for me.

Anyway, If this goes through, I'll be doing case management and I'll be able to work with individuals, families, groups, children, the whole demographic enchilada. And...I'm going to learn to be a mediator. Move over role-plays, let's get some work done.

And while Maxine Gray will always be my social work heroine, I'm going to have to make some space on the pedestal next year.

( 5:04 PM ) Meghan

A few more children are going to be born this year, thanks to the override power of the Virginia General Assembly. Partial-birth abortion (now called "infanticide") is now illegal in Virginia. Additionally, two other bills passed that require minors to obtain parental (or at least authoritative) consent prior to having an abortion.

Notes of good:

*The partial-birth infanticide ban makes an exception for the life of the mother. Excellent! None of this "exception for mental health" language. If that were the case, there may as well be no law at all since pregnancy is usually a mental/emotional crisis for a woman (and often the rest of her family). It's designed to be a crisis in prepartion for parenthood.

*If the law is broken, the mother will not be prosecuted, only the abortion provider. This is invaluable. No woman needs a criminal conviction after losing a child...and forever living with a decision that it is not unlikely she will regret. Which, I might add, may not have been her decision in the first place. Cheers to the Republicans, accounting for the coercive patriarchy!

(Author's note: This does not mean that I believe all men would push a confused woman toward abortion. It simply has been known to happen. Let's just acknowledge the gender-based power differential, shall we?)

*Why on earth did we not have parental consent prior to this? When I was seventeen, I needed my mother's signature to donate blood. The previous law would have allowed a pregnant 12-year old to consent to a procedure that has 100-fold the emotional complications of any other medical procedure. Am I the only one who sees a discrepancy? I am well aware that this new law doesn't pave an easy street out of an unplanned pregnancy. There could be negative unintended consequences to having a teenager obtain parental consent--abusive parents finding out that their daughter is pregnant could turn deadly. Which is exactly why we have mandated and independent programs in place that protect children against circumstances like that. There may also be rumblings that these laws are only part of the conservative agenda, serving to make abortion less accessible. And I say...well, yes. I don't care if you're pro-life or pro-choice. An abortion should never be an easy decision to make. And if it's a little less accessible, maybe it will give people just the right amount of time to reflect and get all the information before making an informed and self-appropriate judgment. A rushed choice is less likely to be the right choice.

( 12:09 AM ) Meghan

What a week this has turned out to be so far! It began immersed in the performing arts. Friday night was a high school production of Oklahoma (which was quite good), followed by a live performance of DaVinci's Notebook (which was excellent) on Saturday night and the circus on Sunday. While Ringling Bros. will always be "classic" in the childhood sense, there was something off this time around. It started when I saw the animal rights protestors outside of GMU. They continued to weigh on my mind well into the show, especially as I caught a glimpse of the (what appeared to be) electric shock rods held by the trainers-in-black at the sides of the elephants. I was almost in tears thinking about what must happen to those poor creatures, even if for our safety. For we wouldn't need the protection if the animals were free. Believe me, I can get my fill of elephants from the Discovery Channel. Sigh. Sometimes it's so hard and so much of a pain to be a socially-conscious adult.

Anyway, the rest of the week was fairly nonconsequential, but skip to today. I arrived home to two things: a letter and a message. The former was an invitation to Regan and Shawn's wedding. Yay! Early congratulations to them, of course, but also...wow! The first wedding I'll have attended as an adult. Also, the first wedding I'll have attended since I was 3. A considerable event and I am excitedly anticipating it.

The message was from the gentleman who will be my supervisor next year if my new practicum is finalized on Monday. Everything is tentative until the interview. But in regards to my supervisor, not only is he a JMU graduate, he used to work for Parking Services! It was really funny...sort of like when you hear about a Harvard alumnus interviewing another Harvard alumnus who was also in the same frat and got hired because he knew the secret handshake. Except this is way cooler.

And then onto Spirituality class tonight. I presented my painting, even though I wasn't satisfied with it and resigned myself to being finished with it on Saturday. But after the class saw it and heard my explanation of the symbolism, the room was absolutely silent. Until one of my classmates spoke up and said that I left the room speechless. What an honor, let me tell you...I affected real people with artwork, which was something I never expected to do. And it was weird...I didn't enjoy painting nearly as much this time around as I did five and eight years ago. I think that my familiarity with the brush has waned away over time, but more practice will doubtless bring more intensity. No puns about "brushing up" on the painting skills. Oh, wait...

Anyway, speaking of spirituality, this needs to end with some uplifting, inspirational music.

All my life I have been searching for that fabled promised land
With my sisters and my brothers we shall walk there hand in hand
Through the trials and tribulations and the devil’s cruel temptations
I know that we will all get there one day.

After years and years of wand’ring, oh the kingdom ye shall find.
And the doors may not be open but we’ll gather in that line.
Then our hearts will swell with pride the day those gates swing open wide
And we take a walk down Main Street USA.

Oh that magic kingdom in the sky,
We will all be there together by and by,
We will all drink from the fountain
And go riding on Space Mountain,
When we reach that magic kingdom in the sky.

Where Mother Minnie, Father Dopey, and Saint Tinkerbell abide,
No more cares or sorrows on that heav’nly teacup ride
I will lay down all my fears when I put on those big black ears
And join the choir to sing in harmony.

We will sing the songs of aimless souls who once had gone astray
Who were lost but now are found in the electric light parade,
Singing Hakuna Matata,
Drawing Mousketeer stigmata
In the only club that’s made for you and me.

Oh that magic kingdom in the sky,
We will all be there together by and by,
All God’s children shall be free in
Pirates of the Caribbean,
When we reach that magic kingdom in the sky.

Oh the meekest and the poorest their inheritance shall see
And a zillion Japanese tourists all will join the Jamboree.
They will ride that holy monorail into Saint Providence
When they know that their Redeemer is a mouse in short red pants.

Won’t you take me to Orlando where the sun is always bright,
All the angels are clean-shaven and the people snowy white,
Where your problems all are hidden,
And unhappiness forbidden
You’ll find salvation for a modest fee.

Climb into my Winnebago and if you help with the gas
Then we maybe can finagle you a five or six day pass.
May your afterlife be blessed
Just American Express it,
Let Mastercard and Visa set you free.

Oh that magic kingdom in the sky,
We will all be there together by and by,
All religions may be practiced there
Except for Southern Baptist
When we reach that magic kingdom in the sky.

Oh that magic kingdom in the sky
When your back’s shaved by that Uncle Walter guy.
We’ll give thanks to that old geezer
And keep him in the freezer--
When we reach that magic kingdom in the
When we reach that magic kingdom in the
When we reach that magic kingdom in the sky.

--DaVinci's Notebook, Kingdom in the Sky

( 12:31 AM ) Meghan

O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife.
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness
And every gain divine!

--Katharine Lee Bates, America the Beautiful

( 11:13 PM ) Meghan

My first blog in eight months from my computer was just eaten. My first blog on my 28.8 dial-up connection...

But it is mine.

( 1:23 PM ) Meghan

Apparently Romano having his arm sliced off in a helicopter accident wasn't enough for vengeful audience bloodlust...he had to have his ass kicked by a mob of angry barflies. Heh heh.

( 11:24 PM ) Meghan

Had I known that Total Crafts sells prepped and primed canvases for $3.39 a pop, I would've started painting again months ago. So why wait any longer? Score for Policy Class being cancelled tonight...I can start right now!

My mission is to learn lighting and shadowing. I can't even conceive of how to do it, but it really is the life of the work. So I don't care how overrated you consider Thomas Kinkade because his talent is mastery of this principle...stunningly luminous and leagues out of my league. At least I'm not the only one in this opinion:

Me: I have a calendar...this year is Thomas Kinkade.
Anonymous College Roommate: yay! painter of light!

Well, what am I waiting for? Let's see what I come up with. Best social work assignment ever.

( 6:15 PM ) Meghan

I have to stop doubting myself and my desire to do social work every time I get less than an "A" on something.

But I probably won't.

I'm so sick of this Practice class. I never cared for it much in undergrad either, but I liked it more then. Wanting to please a favorite professor helped too. But this one is all, "Let's learn 8,000 models and apply them all, even though in reality, none of them are adequate." I'm tired of models and theories. They make me hesitant to talk to clients since I've always got this education I'm supposed to apply jammed into the back of my mind. My attention is divided between listening to the client and making sure I'm focusing on one protocol or another. Which explains why I haven't been satisfied with my listening skills lately.

Five more weeks. Two more client-based papers. Can I be a social worker yet?

( 1:27 PM ) Meghan

On Her Majesty's Secret Server...