The 42nd Kingdom

The 42nd Kingdom

"And I ask the Lord every night for just another day in paradise..."

Before the novelty wears off, I thought I would record for posterity. My professional life now includes a badge, several hundred embossed business cards, and my own cubicle and computer. Each afternoon, I leave the office under clear blue skies, ambling past a streaming, crystal fountain on the way to my car. Best of all, I work with the most beautiful children, who, despite what society has forced upon them, were never ever unwanted.

As I told Karen, I think I've finally made it. I'm in Social Worker Paradise.

( 8:13 PM ) Meghan

Excellent season premiere...Gillian awoke from her 8-week coma and Lauren discovers boys in junior high. In the coming weeks, hijinks are sure to ensue. But, oh, the highlight is that Maxine has an intern! Wow! This will be interesting to see some of my favorite stories told now from a perspective so much closer to home.

Speaking of my social work life, I got an 80 on my first paper. The lowest possible B on a paper that my professor remarked on as "thoughtful," "coherent," "interesting," and "good." What malarchy. At least most of my class carries the same sentiment, which makes me feel far less angry about the whole ordeal.

It's also looking good in the Group Project Zone. I foresee another positive experience this semester as I'm in another three-person group with some laid-back, funny, sensitive people. And I get to be the Sage of PowerPoint once again!

On a side, got to look like a complete dork in my research class. No one minded too much and one made a comment about me tutoring the rest of them. But one day I will learn to keep my freaking TJHSST mouth shut. It's coming back to benefit me...

( 9:27 AM ) Meghan

Tyne Daly represents! 2003 Best Supporting Actress for "Judging Amy"! Social workers raise the roof.

I am such a whore for award shows.

Anyway, feeling a little more put together since I took my unexpected Hurricane Sabbatical to clean up and read. Which means I have actually done all of my class reading for tomorrow. Yeah, what's that about? But with that out of the way, tomorrow's work agenda is all about the lost art of the Process Recording. Here we go again.

And on the subject of being forthright? Underrated, in my humble, professional, and personal opinion.

( 12:01 AM ) Meghan

Power is back on after about 19 hours. Our water is still potentially contaminated, but whatever. It can serve to build up my immune system. At least this means a hot dinner, whereas before the plan was matzah and peanut butter.

All in all, this ordeal wasn't too frightening. We were pretty well prepared and slept in the basement while the wind whistled and howled and made whatever other noises that wind has been said to make in classic literature. The most impressive thing was the the lightning. I'm not sure if it was the way the clouds and the sky came together or if Isabel brought some culturally diverse electricity over from the east. But through my darkened windows I watched flash this bright, beautiful neon ocean blue. It was as if Aurora Borealis was making sneak previews.

I'm somewhat fascinated by weather crises. It's one of the only times that humanity is forced to admit that we're not indestructible. Terrorists are human--we can stop them. War is waged by humans--we can stand back or fight back. Hunger is determined by how we distribute our food--we can share. But the weather...well, we can fill sandbags and pray, but we can't do a damn thing about it. One way that we acknowledge a power larger than ourselves in collective unity. No doubts. No protests. All looking in the same direction.

( 8:10 PM ) Meghan

Well, it's raining and the wind has picked up a bit. But at the moment, it resembles just a regular, run-of-the-mill, sloppy day. My dad has been working hard, minimizing projectiles and I've squirreled all the photo albums away in the basement, along with a few keepsakes that would be annoying to replace like my authentic, Vatican shot glass. Which of course serves a dual purpose because I'll also have something to drink out of when my house is destroyed.

Other than that, not much happening. I'm somewhat disappointed that I won't be able to go out tonight. But that will leave me time for what I should be doing, like compiling my research articles and starting my process recordings. Or sitting on my ass doing nothing, which is more likely, but not quite as fruitful.

( 3:07 PM ) Meghan

It's been fairly frightening to comprehend that by Friday I could possibly have a permanent skylight over my room if Isabel is as devastating as the Weather Gurus are predicting. People in Florida, California, and the Midwest no doubt are scoffing at my insecurities, since they're probably using hurricanes for wind surfing and mudslides for weekly pottery class. But they can scoff all they want, because all my irreplacables are going in a box in the basement until the winds cease long enough for me to avoid performing an accidental "Mary Poppins" remake.

Heard tonight on the importance of keeping up with current entertainment trends when working with children:

"And make sure you know who Sponge...Bob...whoever-the-hell...is."

Which was funny on many levels, due to the unfortunate timing of remembering Ian's prank phone call concerning a certain saltwater threesome.

Also, I am so freaking tired of hearing the lecture about the importance of obtaining a thorough social history/bio-psycho-social-spiritual assessment. This is my sixth year as a social work student. I KNOW ALREADY! Can I get on with using it please?

Oh, wait. That's tomorrow.

( 11:35 PM ) Meghan

Alright, we're going to play a game called "Searching through Meghan's archived papers for sources so that her first assignment of the year is more credible than an apparent tapestry of colorful, sweeping generalizations."

Granted, it's not the most fun game, but it has its merits.

I attended the 3rd Annual Bereavement Conference on Friday, sponsored by Blue Ridge Hospice. For a seminar on grief and loss (focused on masculine coping), it was unexpectedly funny, poignant, holistic, and rich. Tom Golden was an excellent speaker, warm and competent. Something of a cross between Dr. Phil and Frasier Crane, if you can picture that. Although I attended for personal reasons, I foresee the knowledge gained there as a great benefit to my practice. I've always been fascinated by bereavement work...perhaps it's a morbid fascination, but maybe it's a possible career path that deserves more serious consideration.

One thing that Tom mentioned really grabbed my attention, apart from the healing theory. He described the feeling he experiences when driving from the Southwest area of Virginia back up into D.C. It was building tension, a constriction centered in the chest. I was so moved...I know that feeling all too well. The first couple of years at JMU, that feeling would hit me in reverse--as soon as I saw ISAT on the horizon. But when the stress of school was taken out of the equation, I really developed an appreciation for the area. The clean air, the mountains, the relaxed collective persona. I don't have that here and I miss it daily. But it was nice to know that someone else could empathize.

( 2:43 PM ) Meghan

Unsinkable ships sink.
Unbreakable walls break.
Sometimes the things you think could never happen,
Happen just like that.
Unbendable steel bends
If the fury of the wind is unstoppable.
I've learned to never underestimate...

the impossible.

--Joe Nichols, The Impossible

( 5:50 PM ) Meghan

VCU had the new building dedicated today. I ran into the ceremony, purely by accident, as it was blocking me en route to learning. But, dude, they had wine there! I was so very close to drinking in class. But I missed my chance, mistaking it for grape juice since they were serving it in punch glasses.

Oh, well. Not like I wasn't dressed all up and ghetto for the occasion. Or as Justin says, like a walking cure for Seasonal Affective Disorder. Heehee.

On the professional front, practicum has been going quite well. I gave respected input at a case staffing last week, during which my colleagues complimented me on being "well-spoken." I'm at something at a loss for clients, though, because so far they've been solving their own problems before I can even get to them. So much for change in the context of a relationship :)

But the other day, I received a reminder as to why I fight to protect the sanctity of life. Many things can result from the darkest and most disgusting dysfunction. Beautiful, beautiful things.

( 11:29 PM ) Meghan

Things that have been said lately, from my mouth and others...

On the phone habits of gay men:
"It's the Queer-izon Plan."

Regarding one Rennaissance Festival:
"I saw a guy there in a full Star Trek Uniform."
"It's like, 'Dude. Wrong cult thing!'"

Beautifully out of context:
"Although I'd wonder if my nipples and your penis are really comparable...and, no, I can't believe I just typed that."

"Don't make me snarf my wiener."

Inspirational for Back-to-School:
"You don't have to comprehend the whole %*#$@^# field!"

* * * * *

Speaking of going back to school, I've been in class for two weeks and already I feel behind beyond repair. Honestly, I don't know how I'm going to pull this year off. I had time to write papers last year because I didn't have to read. This year, I actually have lessons to learn. I'm still considering therapy, but I'll hardly have a minute to spare, which is one reason I probably need it. Bloody Catch-22s.

Alright, let's be real about this. I need to slow down...partialize the problem. Complete small tasks so I can attain the sense of confidence needed for the larger ones. Tonight, in order I will:

-Finish my IRB modules
-Call my brother
-Sign my paychecks for deposit while watching W's speech
-Read for art therapy

And all throughout, enjoy the fact that it's nice enough to have the windows open. Ah, fall.

( 5:52 PM ) Meghan

A new practicum looms upon me. I am at a loss for profundity. Thus, I defer my words to composer, Hans Zimmer, to set the tone for another year.

Let me be honest. I'm a complete lunatic. I love my work and I love digging in and saying, "It could all be better, it could all be different and let's just throw it out and start again and experiment and go to dangerous places and be reckless about it." You know, why get up in the morning unless you're going to have an adventure?

( 9:06 AM ) Meghan

And the record is set at 70 hours and 15 minutes for lack of conversation with a straight man. Each moment more fabulous than the last.

( 8:55 PM ) Meghan

On Her Majesty's Secret Server...