This morning, after I handed in my massive pile of psychodynamic application of which I am not proud in the least, my Practice class sat through a group presentation on Object Relations Theory.
When class ended, I headed straight over to 7-11 to obtain new batteries for my TI-82 for the afternoon's research statistics quiz. It had to be done...I wouldn't have it any other way. For awhile, I just couldn't figure out why I was so hung up on using a graphing calculator when I knew that the most difficult math on the test would be long division. Maybe. And then I realized that the calculator was my transitional object from my safe, Jefferson holding environment.
And I nearly laughed myself stupid. Maybe there is something to all this theory crap they keep telling me to learn.
( 1:17 AM ) Meghan
Thursday, October 23, 2003
I'm becoming serious about this Yoga thing. I spent a good chunk of time in Barnes and Noble today reading through their instructional selection. I felt more relaxed just reading about it, which was encouraging. My plan is to make an appointment with my chiropractor to get the "Talk to your doctor before starting a new form of exercise" evalution.
For those of you who fear for my sanity (most of you know it's already gone), I promise that I'm not turning into a commercial hippie looking for the path to enlightenment for $19.95 or less. Rather, I'm fascinated by all of the health benefits that Yoga has to offer. Full breathing, flexibility, relaxation. But mostly good posture. I have awful posture that I have been trying to improve with my new freak bed, but I think I need a supplementary therapy.
I am hoping that this physical exercise will seep into the rest of me. I could do with clarity of mind and the energy required to be a full-time social worker. Instead of running on empty calories and desperation like I am now.
In the meantime, I'm going to go draw some water and contemplate taking a yogurt bath, as one of the books suggested. An empirically-justified yogurt bath, mind you.
( 6:52 PM ) Meghan
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Another 21-page load of schmite handed in. And our professor released us an hour early because he recognized that our brains were too sauced-out to learn anything. So we got to go home right after viewing a PBS special on how the brain works.
Yeah. Empathy and irony unite.
One of these days I will have much larger quantities of spare time during which I can process feelings that I should have taken care of a long time ago. But as for now, I'll keep myself entrenched in my work. It's a conscious coping mechanism and I'm not at a lack for supply. I have to write my Practice paper this weekend that includes a section on my definition of clinical social work. This could be fun or disastrous. But I prefer to live on the edge.
Actually, I don't. I like to say shit like that and then churn out a sack of analysis right before it's due. I'm such an academic goldfish.
I'm thinking of taking up Yoga. Something needs to change and I might as well be healthier in the process.
I'm in a hurry to get things done,
I rush and rush until life's no fun.
All I really gotta do is live and die,
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why.
--Alabama, I'm in a Hurry ( 12:02 AM ) Meghan
Monday, October 20, 2003
My old roommate and I sang with Shania Twain, ate raw fish, and played in giant breakfast foods this weekend.
Life doesn't get much more exciting.
( 10:49 AM ) Meghan
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
I am not very fond of myself this week. Two papers down, but within bare nicks of deadlines. I've always been like this, but usually I feel a little bit better about it. When the lab computer almost ate my literature review this afternoon, I think it was one of many small traumas that collectively will kill me before the age of 27.
We reviewed in my Working with Children class tonight the token economy system wherein parents reward their children with points or monetary symbols to be collected and traded in for desired items. One of my classmates told me that she uses the technique on herself, e.g., a glass of wine for every "A." I think I should incorporate this. Surely my professional utilization of cognitive-behavioral therapy will be more effective if I am personally aware of its successes.
So what to try with me? A reward for every instance of being on time (academic or otherwise) would be a good start. Drinking probably not a good option, as will likely have a negative impact on the following attempt at being on time. Food rewards are also generally discouraged in this era of society's fat ass. (Also mine individual.) But I'll need something I can reward myself with daily until I'm properly conditioned. Hmmm...this will need to be mulled over.
Mmm. Mulled wine. Anyway.
So let's review. Displeasure with my paper-writing habits, the state of my room, my sex life (which will be a whole other rant, let me tell you), and the fact that my school is more disorganized than I am. I got a letter in the mail the other day, stating that they had no record of the fact that I graduated from JMU and that they won't fork over my Master's without proof. Must they lose everything I send them?
They teach me about modeling and yet don't provide it. The simplest ironies are really the funniest.
I want to stand up and roar.
( 11:54 PM ) Meghan
Friday, October 10, 2003
This week in football...
*First "A" of the semester received before the start of the second half. Let's hope this is a trend that picks up a little more speed.
*Penalty for horseplay. Finally got myself out into the fields for some quality equine time, including riding bareback, but mostly petting and allowing myself to be drooled on. Attempt to ride off into the blazing sunset was blocked by my horse refusing to move in the general direction of the trail.
*Half-time show. Had my mid-semester liaison meeting wherein all participants agreed that I started practicum out well. Although defense made a couple of internal laterals when I got some advice on what I should be learning and why I might be absorbing negative messages about the "social work student" label. Gee, I wonder...
*Scrimmage with the Future Social Workers of America. Talked up the profession with some impressionable youth in a career class on what they'll need to make the grade in this line of work (i.e., "I hope you like writing"). Some were focused and ready for huddle. Others could use a few more laps.
And it's third down with two papers due Tuesday. Time to get back on the ball.
( 10:39 AM ) Meghan
Friday, October 03, 2003
It is the most most gorgeus, blue day outside. Oh, to give homework the boot and race down to the playground with friends. Instead, expending my energy on a paper. Topic: Dance Therapy. Wait a minute...
If a boy proposed to me via the song "This Gift" (yes, yes, by 98 Degrees, shut up), I don't think I'd ever recover. Serenading or background, I'm not too particular. Except about the boy.
( 4:02 PM ) Meghan
Thursday, October 02, 2003
Alright, let's review The Irony of the Libraries:
*I can't check out books at George Mason University without paying a $100 fee or being enrolled in Catholic or 937 other D.C./NoVA universities, which do not include VCU.
*I can check out books through the Fairfax County Public Libraries, although their options are not academically inclined. None of the books I need have won the Newbery/Caldecott/Laura Ingalls Wilder Medal. Unfortunately.
*I can check out books from George Mason University through Fairfax County Public Libraries. Only one at a time, but I can keep it for seven weeks. Huh?
*I can check out books from Virginia Tech. Except all of the ones I need are at the Blacksburg branch. And since I wanted to start my paper tonight, ILLiad is not an Odyssey on which I plan to embark.
*My own stupid college, VCU, is an hour-and-a-half away and doesn't have another library branch.
*Yeah, NOVA doesn't have shit.
Sigh.
Our problems stem from our acceptance of this filthy, rotten system. --Dorothy Day
( 5:40 PM ) Meghan
