It's time again to re-evaluate how much of my life can be viewed by the public eye. I've become rather bonded to my blog over the past three years, so I don't want to take the "friends-only LJ" tactic. Unfortunately, work is the most signficant aspect to discuss at the moment, primarily because it takes up the most waking hours in my day. So I'll be vague.
These last several weeks have been very challenging for me--no question. And as if I had never left school, I am continuing to learn. I have seen textbook family dynamics. I am broadening my cultural competence. As needed, I'm able to put to use my few palabras de Espanol. I've also been useful on the tech support end, which is quite a kick, but a nice feeling nonetheless.
What I wasn't expecting is that every day I go home knowing that I've helped at least one person--and they're always kind enough to thank me. Not every social worker is so fortunate. And I cannot be grateful enough for this professional environment that encourages such goodness. I don't know if I could do without it, for my goal of becoming a full-time, non-student social worker is the hardest thing I have ever done.
On the personal front, I've been fairly social, although I feel as though I've been depressing to be around as of late. So if that's what you've seen from me recently...I do apologize. Blame it on the stress, blame it on the finances. And throw in a dash of the Love Life DramaTM*, which is both resolving and complicating itself, depending on the angle you're viewing from. But all of these things I am working on. It's funny, because the things I used to ignore for school like cleaning and the gym have now become forefront tasks. They used not to bother me so much because of the enormous relief I'd feel after completing assignments. Now with more spare time and the mental imposition to start growing the hell up, I figured the least I could do is do some crunches twice a week and learn how to keep my laundry in the laundry basket.
We'll see.
*Contains no actual love life! ( 9:30 PM ) Meghan
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
It means no worries...
You are THE LION KING. Based on the hit Disney film, you are the coming-of-age story of Simba. Your special effects and unique costumes blend in perfectly with the African-style music and choreography. Hakuna Matata!
Your songs include "Circle of Life," "He Lives in You," and "Can You Feel the Love Tonight."
My original intent for this post was a top ten list of the contemporary country songs that I rate as “MostFuntoSing.” Ten songs grew rapidly into twenty and I have realized that this is an impossible endeavor. So instead, here is the story of my conversion and why I’ve chosen to remain a redneck woman.
It was sometime in the first year of grad school—that much I remember. But the months had a tendency to blend together and time was followed mostly by project due dates. Although not unlike college, there was one important difference—I had become a commuter to school and so I was in the car much more frequently. Therefore, I had begun listening to radio on a very regular basis. Wanting as much variety as possible, I programmed in five pre-set stations and then settled on 98.7 for the sixth. Liking mostly soft rock, I figured I might be able to count on WMZQ for the occasional Faith Hill or Shania Twain—you know, when nothing else worthwhile was on.
The moment came fairly soon. I was on my way to class one evening and Santana and Michelle Branch were wearing my nerves thin with their 10,374th replay of “The Game of Love.” So I clicked over to country and happened to fall on one of Trisha Yearwood’s classics, “She’s in love with the boy.” Something got to me—the rhythm, the simplicity. After the song was over, I switched back to my usual stock. But I began changing over more and more often, hoping to get another listen of that great tune.
The months passed, and I absorbed more and more. What surprised me most of all was the topical spectrum. Whereas other stations contain mostly songs about vague heartache and sex, country songs paint pictures in my mind of all kinds of life scenarios. Leaving for college, honoring soldiers; overcoming abuse, or opening a bottle of wine.
Often the musicians share about everyday normalcy, but it’s told as a story—a scene in which I can so easily picture myself that I can feel exactly what the artist is feeling, even if I’ve never been there. And they sing, unafraid about whom they include. Children, elders, hunting dogs, and God all hear their part in one afternoon.
SoI couldn’t tell you exactly when it happened, but 98.7 soon became my primary station. I still leave it on program six…to remind me that the genre I once stereotyped as twangy and depressing has split my mind wide open to true talent.
Three years ago, I never thought I'd feel proud to drawl. And now I get to sing it.
( 11:14 AM ) Meghan
Sunday, August 01, 2004
But she'll do zero to sixty in five point two.
Slice and dice
A couple of weeks ago, I had my first necessary surgery. Although some knew of it beforehand, I didn't mention it publicly. I'll accept comfort when I need it, but I didn't want any undue sympathy. But for the record, I had a small, pre-cancerous mole that had to be removed. Twice, actually, to make sure they got it all. Everything seems to have come off without a hitch and all is growing back as it should. With only slight discomfort.
With work being so busy, I haven't really had time to reflect on the impact of the condition. It seems I shouldn't have to--"pre-cancerous" is the equivalent of "not cancer." My only concern is that I know I am not immune to the possibility of cancer later in life. This is of particular worry to me because I've had more than my share of sunburns. My doctor told me I'll likely need regular, full-body examinations to monitor for other suspicious activity. Heaven forbid he should ever retire from practice. I've been seeing him longer than any other doctor--sixteen years--and he's the only one I trust as competent and respectful enough to aid me with this task.
I brake for traffic lights
Last Thursday, I noticed that my old, faithful Civic was having more trouble with the whole "slowing down" aspect of driving. While she's had other problems before, this is by far the most frightening. At the moment, she's still drivable, but it takes more effort on the brakes to stop. What ticks me off, though, is that the problem is intermittent and we haven't been able to diagnose it as of yet. She's passed all the tests in the Honda manual, the brake pads are in good shape, and brake fluid is plentiful. But something is definitely wrong. When you rely on something for so long, you feel when it hurts. I'm so mad because the problem-solver in me is emerging. I want a clear, obvious condition so that I can take the measures to fix it. Especially when I'm the one at risk in the driver's seat.
Then in the midst of fretting for the brakes on Friday night, I accidentally ended up driving straight into Dulles airport. No one should ever believe that I'm a native daughter.
Hold off construction on the money bin
The immediate monetary goals of this job were to purchase a new car (which I'll need eventually, whether I get the brakes fixed or not), to move out of my parents' house, and arrange for a trip to Europe. A hefty savings, but I felt it was manageable. Then in the same day, the Honda's brakes started freaking and I got the bill for my surgery (part I only, not in-network). It's a good thing Ireland isn't sinking into the Atlantic for awhile.
But the good times rolled
Friday I had a lovely dinner at Rock Bottom and got to see Mike's new place in Loudoun. Where I would definitely move, if it weren't a ridiculous commute from work. But we had a really nice visit and reported to Wegman's for brunch, so I am happy for now just to make the occasional getaway.
Saturday was hijinks with Cynthia, Justin, Jenni, and Toby, and later, Mike, Cate, and Micah. Good Thai-mes, bad puns, excellent political/religious discussion (yeah, we're dangerous). And I have officially achieved geek status for engaging in my first RPG. We played Munchkin, which seems like the kind of game that children play when they make up the rules as they go along. Except this was more organized because...it had cards? I thought I'd be lost all night, but the knack came along pretty quickly. It allowed for a lot of creativity, cheating, and screwing people over. I came to like it after awhile, although I had to break for DDR, which takes top prize as my favorite new nerd obsession. And it has health benefits! I'd consider an investment except for...well, see above.
My action-packed week ended with Toby agreeing to be my professional boyfriend, even though I inadvertantly bitch-slapped him while trying to shoo off a cricket.
